Richard Kaloust Fearless Speaking

A Quick Tip for Delivering a Great Speech

Richard Kaloust Delivering a Great Speech By V. Berba Velasco.

Does speaking in public leave you tongue-tied? Do you stumble over your words? Do you want to learn how to speak more eloquently in front of a crowed?

Here’s a simple tip for getting started: Talk about something that you’re passionate about.

Have you ever noticed how people sound more eloquent when they’re talking about something that’s dear to their heart? They speak more fluidly, and they’re less likely to grasp for the right words. They also speak with more confidence, emotion and conviction. And why not? They’ve probably delivered great orations to themselves many times before, in the privacy of their own minds.

Speak about what matters to you. Speak about what’s dear to your heart.

Of course, this isn’t a magic formula for becoming a great speaker. That sort of thing must come with experience. However, if you start out by speaking about things for which you feel passion, that can help you refine your technique and develop confidence.

As with most skills, the secret is to practice, practice and practice. If you speak from the heart, then practicing becomes easier and more effective—and a lot more enjoyable to boot.

Public Speaking: The Mother Of All Fears

Richard Kaloust Mother Of Fears By: Guy Baglow.

In a much quoted survey of the things people fear most, public speaking came out as the number one fear. Death came third.

So what is fear of public speaking and why does it generate so much fear in so many?

What is fear of public speaking?

Fear of public speaking is an intense and irrational fear of being judged by others when speaking in front of them – or of being embarrassed or humiliated in such situations – causing dread, panic and avoidance.

More accurately, it is not the scrutiny and negative judgements themselves but the sufferer’s own emotional response to them – the feelings of shame, rejection or humiliation.

Sufferers recognise that their fear is excessive or unreasonable but they feel powerless to do anything to change their responses. So the feared situations – such as presentations, wedding speeches, meetings or even one-to-ones – are avoided or else endured with intense anxiety or distress.

In work situations the fear most commonly occurs around formal presentations and meetings. It can then spread out to smaller groups, to conference calls, to informal situations like one-on-one conversations (especially with more senior people) and to things like introducing oneself on a course. It can then even spill into social situations with friends and family.

How it manifests

When sufferers feel that all eyes are upon them – “the spotlight effect” – their acute self-awareness makes it very difficult to focus on what is going on around them, to remember their speech, to read from notes or follow a meeting. Their mind goes foggy or blank. Their distress is further fueled by their efforts to hide or mask their discomfort which may become apparent through blushing, sweating, shaking, twitching, or an inability to speak normally or coherently.

Some of these feelings may be present for some time before the event – weeks and even months beforehand – and may be accompanied by sleeping problems and loss of appetite. Life becomes a nightmare from the moment they know they have to speak. It can feel like a death sentence. Not only that, but the feelings may linger afterwards as the sufferer analyses and ruminates on how they did and how other people may have judged them.

Fear of public speaking is distinguished from shyness by the intense, often debilitating, fear it generates. At its worst it will end in a panic attack. So it’s way beyond shyness or butterflies. This is hardcore fear.

Who does it affect?

Most people with a fear of public speaking are normal, intelligent, happy and well-balanced. They often come across to friends and colleagues as confident and outgoing.

Many people who fear public speaking are very successful, so they have risen to a level in their career where they are more and more called upon to share their knowledge and expertise and lead projects, teams and departments. But in these situations they come across as reserved, disinterested or unenthusiastic because they have got this phobia, this thing.

So it’s very frustrating because a part of them (the rational thinking part) knows that it doesn’t make sense. They know their subject – that’s why they have been asked to talk – and they know the situation is non-threatening. But they nevertheless find that when they are asked to talk in front of a group, another part of them (the irrational unconscious part) drives out rational thought and fear floods in.

It appears to be the more imaginative, creative or artistic people who are more prone to developing phobias. This is because phobias have a lot to do with the misuse of the imagination. So it can affect absolutely anyone.

The cause

Fear of public speaking can be caused by many things. It can be an extension of childhood shyness reinforced by bad experiences of reading aloud in class or presenting work at college or university.

It can also start later in life, often at a time when background stress levels have been raised by other things like relationships or work. Then something happens that the individual can usually cope with but because of the background stress they tip into a mild panic attack. This is frightening and embarrassing. It destroys self-confidence. And it builds into a phobia as the sufferer starts to fear it happening again and begins to panic about panicking – to fear the fear.

At the start it may take some time for people to recognise that they have a phobia. They may mistakenly put it down to excessive shyness. But then the panic starts to occur more frequently and consistently and a pattern emerges. The response is reinforced each time they speak in public and panic, and each time they avoid it and feel relief.

Why does it affect so many so much?

With some phobias – like snakes, heights and sharks – there is some element of real danger. But with public speaking there is no apparent threat. There are no enemy warriors in the room, no charging rhinos.

It seems likely that the fear of public speaking – a fear of humiliation and rejection – is a hangover from our evolutionary history when being accepted by the tribe was essential to our survival. If we did not have their approval we might be cast out. Then our chances of survival by ourselves would be slim. So the thought of rejection by the group generates high anxiety. It’s a primitive survival response that got stuck to wrong kind of thing.

Safety behaviours & avoidance

Safety and avoidance strategies are used by the sufferer to reduce the danger and to control, accommodate and conceal their panic and embarrassment.

Energy and time are used in planning and avoiding the presentation, meeting, call, seminar or speech. Elaborate ways are created to reduce or hide their distress or to produce distractions from it. Sufferers may self-medicate with alcohol. Sickness may be feigned. People and situations may be manipulated. Careers may be blighted: jobs and promotions may be turned down (because they may entail more presenting) or jobs may be left because of their fears of “discovery”.

Many people accommodate their phobia like this for a long time – typically for years, even decades. It is often surprising just how far people get in life and have still managed to avoid public speaking.

But over time these “solutions” become part of the problem, using up time, energy and attention needed for other things. Eventually the avoidance and manipulation becomes too risky – threatening jobs or relationships – or a presentation or speech (usually a wedding or leaving speech) just can’t be avoided. When this happens most sufferers think “enough is enough”. And do something about it. And get help.

Getting help

Things have moved on from old style exposure therapy and there are now a number of very effective solutions available.

These include The Fast Phobia Cure – a remarkable technique from Neuro Linguistic Programming which rapidly changes the patterns that drive the fear. Another relatively new technique is the Emotional Freedom Technique which also provides rapid change. Of the more traditional treatments, Cognitive Therapy – designed to change the way you think about public speaking – is also effective although it is likely to take longer.

Tips on Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

Richard Kaloust Tips on Overcoming By Kelly T.

When it comes to public speaking, some people are absolutely terrified at the idea of getting up in front of an audience to speak while having a bunch of people look at them. Being able to speak in front of an audience with confidence really comes down to a change in mindset. This article will give you a couple of tips you can use to help you overcome your fear of public speaking.

The first thing you will need to realize is that whenever you are scared of something, it’s because you are focusing on negative outcomes that hasn’t happened yet. That or you are recalling past experiences that didn’t turn out so well. So what you need to do is to first acknowledge the fact that being able to speak in public is something that is within your ability. Imagine if you had to give a speech to an empty room. Would you be scared? Probably not. But what if after you were done talking, you realized that the room wasn’t empty and that there were dozens of people present but you weren’t able to see them because the lights were too dim?

The point is that when you are speaking in an empty room, you aren’t focusing on what the audience might think about you. It’s only when there are people present that you start to think about stuff like that. Here is a tip to overcome this fear. Focus on something else. The reason why some people are able to walk up on stage and talk so confidently is because they aren’t focused on things that would make them fearful. If thinking about messing up and having the audience laugh at you make you feel scared, then just don’t think about that.

The best thing you can do to help get over your fear of public speaking is to just practice. The more speeches you give, the easier it will become. The reason why is because the more experience you get, the more you will know what to expect. You will soon realize that those bad outcomes that you kept running in your mind don’t happen. So focus on things that will empower you and practice a whole lot. This is the save with overcoming most other fears as well. The more you face your fears, the easier it will become. In order to take that first step, you will need to change your focus and just go for it.